Three Ways to Tell if a Man is Marriage Material


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A guy who’s fun, attractive and easy to talk to makes a great boyfriend, but if you are considering him as marriage material, the stakes are a bit higher. You’ll have to look below the surface at his character – the inner qualities that will determine if he is truly dedicated to the relationship for the long haul.

He acts like a grown up.

He has a job or a business, is going to school, and is engaged in social, philanthropic or creative activities If he has a  busy life, he’s a keeper. If he’s always hanging out with friends, at the bar, or at the ball game with no rhyme or reason to his life, he isn’t grounded enough for marriage and the commitment it entails.  A responsible man will have his own apartment, house or pay to share living space. If a guy’s still living with his Mom or family, that may not necessarily be a bad thing– he may be doing so to save money or take care of an elderly or sick relative.  Always survey the situation before striking a guy like this off your list. A guy who’s casually sleeping on a friend’s couch rent-free doesn’t have his own life together yet, so building a life with a woman may be difficult for him. And pay attention to the way he talks – word choice as well as subject matter. We all use slang or swear once in awhile, if he’s liberally dropping “dawg” or the “F” word even in business or formal social situations, he still has a lot of growing up to do.

He treats you and others with respect. 

A mature man is always cognizant of others around him. He respects people’s space, and is compassionate and courteous to everyone he meets. He treats people with respect, whether they are a millionaire business associate or busboys.  He tips well, and resolves problems without resorting to threats or bullying. If he’s sweet to you, but treats store clerks like dirt, that brusque attitude will one day cause stress in your relationship, whether it’s aimed directly at you or at other people.

He listens to what you say and responds to it thoughtfully. Guys who brush off their girlfriends’ opinions as less than a man’s are better left to pursue bimbos – that’s probably what they want anyway. He will discuss options with you, not blindly assume you will do what he says. A man who is ready for marriage is able to talk things over and compromise if necessary. 

He is generous with time, money and affection.

Marriage is a partnership and not suited for guys who won’t share their time, money or affection.  A man who is always too busy at work to take a trip with you or have a quick drink is obviously too concerned with his career to focus on marriage. Even people with demanding jobs can find time off now and then. And by affection, I mean kissing, tender words, hand-holding, compliments. Let’s face it, guys will always find time for sex, but affection may be a nonentity for some men. Sure, some guys are more macho and reserved than others, but if he never shows tenderness, that’s a problem. Do you really want to enter a marriage with a guy who won’t snuggle with you once in awhile? And if a guy always insists on buying you the cheapest item on the sale rack and never opts for pricier items, he either needs a better job or a change of attitude about money. As my friend Tony used to say about some miserly relatives of mine “What? Are they gonna take their money to the grave with them?” It’s the thought that counts, of course – a guy with a low-wage job can choose a present that you’ll treasure, one that has real meaning for you, while a rich guy may buy you something that’s ugly but expensive.

If a guy is marriage material, he’ll have a good attitude about money and know its value, regardless of how much he earns. He’ll know what material items are worth buying and investing in, and what to forego. And he’ll know how to balance a checkbook. He won’t leave all the accounting up to you.

One Response to Three Ways to Tell if a Man is Marriage Material

  1. nice and something to ponder.thank you

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