Online Dating Tips: Build a Better Online Profile


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Ever wonder why some people get dozens of responses to their online dating profiles while others have an inbox that gathers dust? It’s all about presentation. There’s a method to the online dating madness. If you’re just starting out in the online dating world, or if you want to revamp your strategy, you need to focus on the basics. The quality of your profile description, photo and introductory emails will ultimately decide whether you end up dating several fantastic singles or receive one generic email from someone who’s totally inappropriate for you.

 

The Profile: Keeping It Real

Take time to really think about your profile before you post it.  Choose a clever username that reveals your personality and interests. Avoid anything too cheesy or generic, like Loverboy95.  Keep your bio short and to the point. Erin J. Shea of Oprah.com suggests daters include three separate paragraphs. Mention your likes, dislikes and a bit about your past and present history. Close with an update about book you’ve read or movies you’ve seen recently.  Your status may succinctly state what you’re looking for – “a fun-loving guy who hikes and skis” or mention what you’d like to do on the weekend “Looking for a date to take to the music festival downtown.” Be open and playful. Don’t be too demanding and picky and spend time mentioning what you don’t want. I’ve seen this on profiles, and it’s a real turn-off. Update often – don’t post your profile and let it languish for months or years without adding new details about your life or replacing the profile photo occasionally.

 

For Photos: Women: Flirt! Men: Try Strong and Silent

According to the Huffington Post, women will get more responses by smiling and making eye contact in their pics. For men, it’s the opposite. Avoid eye contact. Women savor a man with a bit of mystery in a Showing a little cleavage doesn’t hurt, either.  The L.A. Times article, Online dating secrets, as revealed by math majors, notes that 32 year old women with plunging necklines get 79% more responses than more modestly dressed women.  Of course, the number and the quality of the responses may be two different things. Young guys with great bodies get more responses from females when they go shirtless. As far as pics go, if you got it, flaunt it. And remember the webcam and cellphone pics that were all the rage on MySpace? They are an effective pose for both men and women. That’s probably because they show the person’s true looks-there’s no retouching or glamor shots. It shows the person in their natural habitat.

 

Stay platonic and literate in your first response 

 Resist the urge to comment on any body parts, no matter how attractive. Remember, the person you’re contacting doesn’t know anything about you other than what’s on your profile. Thus, first impressions are very important.  If you’re a girl, making frisky comments too soon may cause a potential suitor to take you less seriously as a steady girlfriend. If you’re a guy, dwelling on a woman’s décolletage or other body parts makes you seem creepy. A woman you’ve never met can construe even a generic “you’re pretty” message as a pick-up line. Talk about interests, hobbies, and other things mentioned in the the profile. Save the physical compliments and sexy talk for later, after you know each other better.

Take the time to craft a well-written and grammatically correct email. Don’t write a novel or consult your thesaurus, either. Use natural, everyday language  and avoid truncated texting words like “Luv” and “u” instead of “you.”  LOL and ha ha are okay, but other types of netspeak are turn-offs in an introductory email. Refrain from bragging about your accomplishments or mentioning inflammatory subjects like religion or politics.  Instead, bring up specific interests you have in common or cities where you’ve both lived. Find a common thread and start a discussion.

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