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Daily Archives: February 15, 2012

Why Being in Love Makes You a Jerk

Finding love should be a happy, easygoing time, right? Well, according to a new study from Florida State University, romance can make you a jerk toward good-looking guys.

In the study, 130 people in long-term relationships were asked to write a short essay about either their love for their partner, sex, or a neutral topic. They then critiqued photos of attractive members of the same sex. The results? Young paramours who wrote about love rated those images twice as negatively than people who had just thought about sex.

“Sex is really about the short-term, but love is about long-term planning and commitment, so you’re sensitized to all the people out there in the world who could at some point encroach on your relationship,” says study author Jon Maner, Ph.D., a psychology professor at FSU.

That means a vague notion of jealousy can rile you up, causing you to lash out—even at your buds— without realizing it. He adds that people who are insecure in their relationships are more likely to feel a jealous rage. (In a rut in the lady department? Revamp your love life.)

So how do you change your mean ways? Talk through the little spats and conflicts that every lovestruck couple faces, and make sure to compromise in disputes so that resentment doesn’t fester into worry about infidelity, Maner says.

And nix the habit of combing through your love’s Facebook timeline. Canadian psychologists found that the more time young sweethearts spend digging up history on social networks, the more inclined they were to feelings of jealousy, feeding a vicious addictive cycle of Facebook-checking. Plus, Facebook can make you think all kinds of crazy things about her (and you).


Courtesy of www.MensHealth.com
Copyright Rodale Inc. 2012. All rights reserved.

Five Unusual Ways to Celebrate Valentine’s Day

Most couples consider going out to dinner or dancing at a club as the most appropriate way to celebrate Valentine’s Day. While those activities are romantic and certainly a deviation from everyday routine, try out one of these loving but low-key approaches to V-Day for something slightly different.

Stay at home and snuggle. If you and your love are homebodies- or just tired after a long day at work, there’s nothing wrong with drinking champagne at home and watching a romantic movie. You won’t have wait for a table at a restaurant or stand in line at a movie, just enjoy each other’s company with a bottle of bubbly and maybe some chocolate-covered strawberries.

Try a couple’s spa or massage package. Many spas and masseuses offer special massage packages for couples, featuring full-body scrubs, Swedish massage, Jacuzzi soaks, facials and manicures. Some packages even include wine, chocolate and roses. High-end hotels and resorts offer these packages, so if you have the time to getaway for more than one day, turn Valentine’s Day into Valentine’s week!

Create a keepsake of your best moments together.  Sure, you can do it the old-fashioned way with a paper scrapbook like you made as a kid, cutting and taping photos, ticket stubs and other mementos of your happiest times. Capture all your favorite memories digitally by creating an e-book. Use a PDF or Word Document and copy and paste photos, links to favorite site, love poems (borrowed or original) and you’ll have a beautiful and unique self-penned book for your sweetheart. Isn’t that a lot better than a cheap 99 cent card from the rack at Walgreen’s?

 Visit an unpretentious restaurant or pub. We usually think of a fancy three-course meal at a French restaurant as the perfect Valentine’s Day outing, but a fancy atmosphere doesn’t always equal fun. Unless your love has a desire for high cuisine, high-society and little else, take her (or him) to a charming dive or friendly, low-key Irish pub or sports bar, Enjoy a burger, play a game of pool and watch a ball game on the big screen. The whole point of Valentine’s Day is to spend some quality time together, celebrate your love and similar interests, and have a good time. You don’t need escargot or Duck a L’Orange to do that.

Trade love coupons.  Have fun by trading love coupons good for future back rubs, movie outings, or walks in the park. Be creative with the coupons themselves-you can use fine stationary or make a patchwork design using materials from the art store. Putting some time and thought into a unique Valentine’s Day present will make the day extra special – and the coupons are good all year round!

Different Off Course Date Ideas

Doing the same ol’ date routine can be easy to do since it is what you know, and maybe you cannot think of anything else to do. This is something that you might have to think out of the box about. You want to try new things, explore, make it fun and best of all make it a night or day to remember. You want them to remember you, so why not try something new and exciting instead of the plain ol’ dinner and a movie routine. Spice it up, and maybe you will see them again.

Make it a do it yourself night. Grab some great food and cook dinner and dessert together. Not only will it allow you to spend time together, but you’re both eating healthy and having fun making the meal together all the same. You can also add a little wine and some light music to lighten the mood.

Go to a vineyard to spice it up a little. Go during wine tasting days, and enjoy the many flavors and the buzz that wine has to offer. It will loosen both of you up. Make sure you know the number to a taxi service.

Go to a park or playground and let your inner child roam. Not only is this fun, but you both will enjoy the quirkiness of the date. You can grab ice cream and hotdogs while there too. Who said being a kid wasn’t fun?

Visit open houses around the area. You can both look at giant dream houses and have something to talk about. Make it fun and pretend to be other people at each of the open houses. You can pretty much enjoy the whole time you spend together, even if you’re both different people each time.

Driving ranges are always a fun idea. You can both see how far you can hit the ball across the field. Maybe you will show him up. Even so, a guy likes a girl in control and you can definitely show him just that when you go to the driving range. Definitely worth a visit, and don’t forget to put on your preppy clothes! Checkers and all!

Go to a casino for a night. Book a room if you think you’re going to be having a little too much to drink. You can then enjoy yourselves and try to win some money. Make sure to make a budget however, you do not want to spend too much during your trip. This is definitely off course, but exciting all the same.

Go to a couple’s spa and spend some time pampering. This is not just a girl thing to do since all guys love massages. He will be surprised and you both can enjoy the relaxing atmosphere while talking it out. Learn more than you have ever known about each other during this little day excursion.

Visit a psychic to learn more about the current relationship and even if you both do not take it seriously, it is still fun to see what they have to say. You can learn a lot from a psychic and love experts say that this might be the trick to break the ice.