When it comes to double dating, you might feel like you and your date are dating the other couple. This goes without saying that when you get home you both are going to be asking each other whether or not the other couple enjoyed you. The author of Dating: A Survival Guide from the Frontlines Josie Vogels states that “double dating always seems easy and fun, but things can get really complicated really quickly. Insecurities, weirdness, touchy issues and even attractions can crop up with four people as easily as with two.” You want to be prepared for any of these things when out double dating whether you’re a beginner at the art or a long timer.

You will want to know what to do, and even what not to do when it comes to double dating.

DO

You want to know what they like and don’t like. You know what you and your date like, but perhaps the other couple does not like these places to eat. The longer you have known the couple, the more adventurous you can be when it comes to the choices you make for food and fun. Jennifer Worick, the coauthor of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex states that if it is your first time out, you should “go to a place you’re all familiar with or that at least serves familiar food so you can focus on getting to know one another.” You should also refrain from ordering something that you all have to share, this might scare the other couple away when it comes to picking out of the same food bowl as you.

DON’T

Don’t push them to spend. You might have the money, but it doesn’t mean that they do. Vogels brings up the topic that, “it’s easy to pick a dinner spot that sounds fun without realizing the prices are higher than the other couple’s usual budget allows, making them majorly uncomfortable.” When it comes down to it you want to ask if they are cool with your selection, or perhaps have them pick something. Work together on an affordable, yummy spot for you to kick back and relax at. Worick also states that you can “send them web links about restaurants, like from Citysearch.com, so they can get an idea of the price without you explicitly telling them.” This leaves no one embarrassed or uncomfortable.

DO

If you’re faced with a boring person, then what are you going to do? What could you do to be polite, but not have to see the person face to face? Go to a movie! This limits the face to face contact and takes off the pressure of talking. Since this movie will give you something to chat about later on, it might be good to pre-game with it ahead of time. That way the other person does not seem as boring.

DON’T

Vogels states that “it’s a real danger when two of you have a connection that the other two don’t share, like if you are old girlfriends and you are bringing your boyfriends along to meet.” You do not want them to feel uncomfortable while you two are chatting away. Another uncomfortable point that Vogels points out is taking a co-worker on a double date since you two will be chatting about work all night. No one wants to hear long, boring office chat.

DO

Instead of going to the safe restaurant, take the other couple out to a ball game instead. Trying new things might help you guys all have more fun. Vogels suggests kidnapping the other couple for an afternoon picnic. Surprise them with something, you could tell them not to eat beforehand and to dress casual and comfortable. Bring along a Frisbee.

DON’T

When it comes to having too much touchy feeling stuff going on, you want to make sure you know what to do so you’re not feeling uncomfortable or making the other couple feel uncomfortable. You know you shouldn’t be all over your man, so why shouldn’t they have the same rules? It becomes gross when the other couple are becoming really touchy feely. You should try to say something subtle to the other couple so they get the hint that enough is enough. Worick suggests doing some lightheartedly quipping such as “Gee, you guys are like newlyweds…you must have not seen each other in a long time.”

DO

Always play Switzerland when it comes to their arguing and psychodramas. You do not want to catch yourself in a bad spot. A lot of couples like to drag the other couples into their arguments, such as saying, “didn’t Joe just check out that waitress?” There you are wondering what to say next, or whose side to be on. You do not want to be associated with that problem for years to come as well. When the other couple starts bickering, grab your guy and go have a drink to leave them to it states Worick.

DON’T

Do not, I repeat not start stalking the other couple. They are not going to think that is cool. If they do not return your calls or talk to you at all, then you should take the hint that they do not want to hang out with you anymore. You both have different realities and the facts should be faced. Do not keep calling them or showing up at their house, just let them be. Find another couple that wants to hang out with you.

DO

Leave on a high note, and not a low one. If you notice that they have had enough with your company, then you should give them the cue like, “Well, we’ll let you guys go to bed.” Vogels says this gives them an out without having them feel awkward.

Fast Fixes

Not everyone is perfect, so you want to know how to fix something with your double date, and fast.

• If you’re running late, do not make up some giant excuse. You can tell them what really happened or a small white lie would be enough such as picking up your dry cleaning. You will want to call them as soon as you think you’re going to be late. This decreases the detestable factor by half.
• You start to bicker with your guy. You want to excuse the table and bring the bickerment somewhere else. You do not want to make them feel uncomfortable. If you can both put the argument on hold to have a good night then do so, if you absolutely cannot then you’re going to want to just call it a night.
• If you wreck something at their place. Let’s say you have had a little drink and you spill some wine on the carpet. You should offer to pay for or replace the carpet. You can then follow up with a statement to make it cute such as “I am such a klutz, I could probably spill wine for a living.” It lightens the mood, and everyone will feel better about your little accident.